Many of us have that one donor story—a family or individual we've met who made an impact on us and the way we approach our work. We're inspired by their story or relationship with the organization, or both! These interactions can change our entire perspective, and often make us better donor relations professionals—one donor at a time.
One person who profoundly impacted me in my career was Eugenia Curtis from the University of Tennessee. Our office was on a quest to tell the story of a donor who had given the longest to UT, and we landed on Eugenia, who at that point had supported UT for more than 73 years—indeed a lifetime!
To say I was not excited to travel 3.5 hours to a very small town in Tennessee to meet with Eugenia and hear her story as the longest-giving donor to UT was an understatement. I had bigger and better things to do…impact reports to write, events to host, you know, all those “important” things we do every day.
However, when we turned onto the long driveway leading to Eugenia’s house, I couldn’t help but notice the oversized orange Tennessee flag proudly displayed on her front porch. And once inside her home, UT memorabilia was everywhere—the bookshelves filled with autographs from previous UT coaches and players who had long since seen their golden days. There was a touch of orange and white everywhere you looked in her home. To some, this may make you a little nauseated (UT orange can do this to some people), but I guarantee there is someone out there right now, who has steadfastly supported your organization in the same way. You just have to take a moment to look.
You see, Eugenia had supported the university for decades, and when I took the time to learn more about her, I discovered that her giving wasn’t about specific programs, or recognition, or even gratitude for past experiences—it was about identity. Eugenia saw the university as an inseparable part of who she was. She had grown up attending football games, walking the campus, and eventually building a life enriched by the opportunities the university provided her.
Supporting the University of Tennessee wasn’t simply a choice for Eugenia—it was an extension of her life story. Her generosity wasn’t about us, it was about her. She couldn’t imagine not supporting something that had played such a pivotal part in her life. Her story, and spending time with her that day, reminded me that giving often comes from deeply personal places, and it isn’t always about immediate results or tangible outcomes.
I left Eugenia’s house that day with a new perspective on our work. What we do isn’t rocket science or brain surgery, and in large part, it can seem monotonous. However, when you take time to get to know your donors, learn their stories, and have the opportunity to show how their impact—whether big or small—is making a difference, your own perspective changes.
My perspective on donor relations and my work with donors completely changed when I realized I had been approaching the concept of “donors” incorrectly. Referring to someone as a “donor” can unintentionally depersonalize their generosity, reducing the experience to a monetary transaction rather than taking into account the story, the relationship, and the profound impact the donation creates.
So, I’d like to challenge you to look past the dollars raised and get to know the people behind the numbers you are working with. Find them, learn and share their stories, discover what they live for, and let their passions drive you and their donations. You might not know they have strong reasons for supporting your cause. Perhaps they lost a child to a disease your organization is working to cure, or they are the first in their family to go to college and had no one to support them through their journey.
People like Eugenia are a good example of how generosity is not about the actual dollar amount given—it is about building relationships, identity, and shared passions and goals. These lessons enhance communication with your donors and help you appreciate the value of giving.
Building meaningful relationships with donors allows each donor to see where their passion meets your organization’s vision. The donor provides the support you need to operate. They are a voice and a mobilizer for the cause you support. When you take the time to help them feel valued and know they are appreciated, it fosters trust and loyalty.
Here are some key takeaways that can be applied to any donor relationship (inspired by Eugenia):
Understand how developing personal connections with donors fosters trust, loyalty, and long-term support.
Identify how a donor’s identity and life story influences their motivations for giving.
Employ active listening skills in order to hear and understand donors’ motivations, passions, and stories.
Learn to prioritize relationships and shared goals over monetary outcomes.
Share how donors’ contributions, big or small, make a tangible difference.
Explore how a donor's passion aligns with your organization’s mission and vision—creating a shared purpose.
Practice sharing impactful donor stories to inspire others and illustrate the broader significance of generosity.
Make all donors feel valued and appreciated, ensuring sustained support and advocacy.
I said it at the start and I’ll say it again, most of us know these donors—the ones who change our perspective on our work—so, who is yours? Can you think of a donor whose relationship surprised you or changed how you view your work? If not, I encourage you to find that donor—they might just inspire you to look past the gift and focus more intentionally on the relationship.
Written by Holly Kizer
